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‘Umar said: "Get used to a rough life, for luxury does not last forever."
Avoiding wastes of time, because these go against strength, honor and seriousness
These are some of the ways and means which will increase strength and honor, and protect children.

Teach them the Qur’aan and the correct sayings of the prophet, and the good manners of Islam, such as honoring one’s parents, upholding ties of kinship, honesty, trustworthiness, etc. Make sure that they regularly pray in a group. Also teach them the Islamic etiquette of eating, drinking, speaking, etc. If they grow up with these good manners, they will be guided and will remain steadfast, by the permission of Allaah, and they will grow up in a good way that will benefit them and their nation. (From Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah, 12/261-262)

Allaah has enjoined upon children to honor and respect their parents. He has made the parents’ rights very great and has connected duties towards to parents to duties towards Him and the obligation to worship Him alone. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Worship Allaah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents…” [al-Nisaa’ 4:36]  And Allaah has given the children rights over their parents, such as education and a good upbringing, spending on their needs, and treating them fairly.

One of the bad social phenomena that are to be found in some families is the lack of fair treatment towards the children. Some fathers and mothers deliberately give gifts to some of their children and not others. According to the correct view, this is unjust action, unless there is some justification for it, such as one child having a need that the others do not have, e.g., sickness; debt; a reward for memorizing the Qur’aan; not being able to find work; having a large family; full-time studies, etc. The parent should have the intention – when giving something to one of his children for a legitimate reason – that he will do the same of any of his other children should the need arise. The general evidence  for this is the verse from Quran (interpretation of the meaning):

“Be just: that is nearer to piety; and fear Allaah.” [al-Maa’idah 5:8].

The specific evidence is the saying of the prophet narrated from al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer, who said that his father brought him to the Messenger of Allaah and said: “I have given this son of mine a slave that I had.” The Messenger of Allaah said: “Have you given something similar to all of your children?” He said, “No.” So the Messenger of Allaah  said: “Then take (the slave) back.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari; see al-Fath, 5/211). According to another report, the Messenger of Allaah said: “Fear Allaah and be fair to your children.” He said: so he came back and took his gift back. (al-Fath, 5/211). According to another report, “Do not ask me to bear witness to this, for I will not bear witness to injustice.” (Saheeh Muslim, 3/1243).

Undoubtedly some children are better than others; this is well known. But the father has no right to show favouritism because of that. On the contrary, he has to treat them all fairly because the Prophet said: “Fear Allaah and treat your children equally.” So it is not permissible for him to prefer one child over another because he is better or honors his parents more. He has to treat them all equally and be sincere towards all of them, so that they will all be steadfast in honoring their parents and in obeying Allaah and His Messenger. He should not favor some over others in gift-giving, or bequeath wealth to some of them and not others. All of them should be equal in inheritance and in gift-giving, according to what is prescribed in the Islamic law concerning inheritance and gift-giving. If they are wise and tolerant, and they say, Give our brother such-and-such, and they clearly do not mind, and they say, We don’t mind if you give him a car or whatever… and this is clearly done freely and not because they are too shy or are afraid of him, then that is OK.

The point is that they must be treated fairly. But if they are wise, whether they are male or female, if they have no objection to one of them being given something for special reasons, then that is OK and they have the right to do that.

(Majmoo’ Fataawaa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li Samaahat al-Shaykh al-‘Allaamah ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, vol. 9, p. 234)

Examples of children were brought up around the Prophet:

1. Fatima ( the daughter of the prophet)

Aishah. (the wife of the Prophet) said when the Prophet use to see his daughter (Fatima) approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting." She would do the same when the Prophet came to her. She would stand up and welcome him with joy and kiss him.

Fatimah's fine manners and gentle speech were part of her lovely and endearing personality. She was especially kind to poor and indigent folk and would often give all the food she had to those in need even if she herself remained hungry. She inherited from her father a persuasive eloquence that was rooted in wisdom. When she spoke, people would often be moved to tears. She had the ability and the sincerity to stir the emotions, move people to tears and fill their hearts with praise and gratitude to God for His grace. (Internet, Alim on line)

To Be Continued in the Next page...